dilated to a 4...

Wow yesterday was an emotional day! First it started off with waking up in the middle of the night almost having a panic attack because my contractions were so hard and I was reliving Tanner's labor and delivery (which was all natural...not by choice but because I went too fast). Now having a baby natural and one with an epidural, I DON'T want to go through the natural thing again...IT HURTS! So I went to my appointment not feeling great and expecting not to get great news. Well my doctor sent me to the hospital to have another "fetal fibronectin" test (preterm labor test) to see if I had another two weeks. No such luck. The test came back positive, which means we don't know anything AND I am dilated to a 4!! If it were negative, it gives me for sure 2 weeks before I would go into labor. The other two times I have had this test my results have been negative. So the doctor sent me home and told me to continue what I have been doing, especially make sure I take my medicine that helps my contractions not be so hard all the time. If I stopped taking that medicine the baby would be here for sure! I need to make it as close to 35 weeks as possible, but who knows, maybe I will go full term. ha

So right now I am in the "I don't know anything" phase and it drives me crazy! I don't know how long I can keep this baby in. I don't know why the doctor sent me home and didn't try to stop the contractions. I don't know what will happen with the baby if it comes earlier than 35 weeks. Meaning, I don't know how long the baby would be in the NICU or if there is a possibility that with the steriod shot the baby will be able to come home. I don't know why my body is doing preterm labor. I don't know what else I can do to keep the baby in. I don't know how I am still at home and dilated to a 4! I don't know if my water will break or if my contractions will just get harder and closer together even with the medicine. I don't know! So the information I have given you is all I really know, sorry.

I will keep you posted.