Well, where do I begin? As most of you know I was put on bed rest a week and a half ago and sent Hunter to my in laws for about 6 days. Then my appointment on Wednesday went really well and my doctor told me that I didn't need to send him away, especially now that I am taking a progesterone shot that is suppose to keep you from going into labor early, which I will be taking every week for the next 10 weeks...but still be careful in how much I did at home. So of course I headed up that night to pick him up!! Who wouldn't right? Well, since then I have come to realize that I still can't and shouldn't be taking care of him! Sad huh?! My doctor told me to make sure I didn't do anything that would cause a lot of contractions...well just showering and getting ready for the day causes too many that I have to sit down to get them to stop with additional medicine. Then I get tired of sitting in my bed with my feet up so I go sit in a chair or at the computer, well after awhile that causes contractions! Seriously what can I do? Some of the contractions aren't hard so I don't worry too much about them but when my legs ache and back aches and I have to stop and wait the contraction thru, those are the serious ones. More often then not I have to remind myself that I am only 27-28 weeks along and it is NOT good to be having contractions that I should have after 36 weeks! Then I remember what it was like while Hunter was in the NICU and then I remember that this baby weighs maybe 2 lbs....AHHHH! On top of all this, Mark is taking care of everything! Poor guy! He has started a permanent job in the Purchasing department this week...so has been in training overloading his brain with info then comes home to a frustrated and crying wife, a 5 year old that needs and wants his dads attention, and a 9 month old that just needs to be held and played with. Then add the laundry, cleaning (which all moms know this is a big job in itself!), dinner, outside work...the list goes on and on! And all I can do is sit and watch :( I try to help him with the kids as much as I can...but soon after I end up back in bed.
I know that the end reward is totally worth sitting around, but if you know me at all, it is killing me! I try to stay busy, try not to stress, and try to ask people for help (which I will be great at by the end of all this! ha) but it is really hard! People ask, "Does the doctor say why he thinks this is happening...having too many contractions?" and No he really hasn't said but if you remember I JUST HAD A BABY 9 MONTHS AGO!! I had problems in my pregnancy with Hunter then WHAM I get pregnant again 3 months later...don't you think my body has had enough? and didn't have enough time to heal properly? That is my guess! ha So instead of wondering the "whys", I go to bed thinking..."I made it through one more day!", then I wake up in the morning thinking..."Be careful today! I can't have this baby yet! Lord give me and my family strength to make it through this day!"
Please don't read any of this the wrong way, because I am REALLY excited to be having another baby even with them being less than 12 months apart! I know it will be hard for awhile and I feel totally blessed that the Lord has faith and trust in me to take on this trial. Those things run through my mind on a daily basis but Satan is working hard on me and my family also! So this post was more for me to release some stress and frustration. Thank you for all your wonderful, uplifting comments...they always come when I need them most! So thank you!!
There is more that I could and want to say but I have been sitting here too long and now need to go put my feet up again! Thanks for listening...until next time :)
5 comments:
It doesn't sound like whining or that you're sad about this new baby. You are going through a really hard trial one that you're going to have to vent a whole lot more about I'm sure! Good luck, and hang in there! We're thinking of you.
Ok, so I want to have Jeff bring you dinner in this week. What day would be best. I can't do much since Dyllon now has Type A influenza but I want and need to do something for you!. Let me know!
I am so sorry you are going through this. One of the hardest things about the 4 times I was on bedrest was the emotional frustration. Feeling like you are failing at your mom/wife duties and feeling like you body is failing you. With Peter I was on bedrest at 20 weeks. 4 weeks after I started the progesterone shots. Everyday was a triumph as well as a trial. The shots might stop you from dilating, but they won't do a thing for the contractions or to make you more comfortable. It is truely a wonderful sacrifice that you are so willing to make for your baby. Let yourself work through you emotions and try not to feel guilty for them, they are totally normal. We are praying for you.
Candice I think about you everyday and we are praying for you! I just asked your parents yesterday how you were doing and can I just say that I am so glad you blog about it. Our situations are similar but also very different I remember thinking if I can just make it one more day.. just one more hour.. and sometimes one more minute... You can do this sister it is so hard especially when your stuck watching but you can make it I know you can and you know you can. You're AMAZING and an AMAZING Mom and Wife, Tanner, Hunter, and Mark all know that just hang in there sister. I am here to talk if you ever and I mean EVER need to talk to someone or just cry to someone I will just listen I understand what your going thru.. but I didn't have more children at home let me help you in anyway I can
LOVE YOU keep your chin up you're AMAZING!
I'm so sorry Candice. We need another girls lunch, and you can vent all you want. Maybe we need to bring it to you next time. Let me know if you need any help. I would love to help with Hunter, and Tanner could play with Mason any time.
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